"Why Pay for a Doula?"... Why Not?

What is a doula?

A doula is someone who helps pregnant women in preparing for the birth of their baby and supports and assists them throughout labor and giving birth. (See more info by clicking on the link below.)

I trained to be a doula when I was pregnant with my 3rd baby and now I have 9. I have had a doula when having 7 of those 9 children. And I wished I had had one for the other 2. 

Why did you even have a doula? Wasn't your husband up for the job? 

Yes, my husband was completely supportive and amazing. However, it was very helpful to have someone else there who had fresh energy and ideas, could give my husband a break, who had been through it before, who wouldn't switch shifts in the middle of my labor, and who could help me focus on the good outcomes.

From a research standpoint, hiring a doula is probably one of the smartest things you can do! Why? Because your chances of getting an un-medicated and un-intervened with birth go up A LOT! See more awesome info on that here!

But why would someone pay anywhere from $300-$1500 for a doula to be present at their birth?

Again, look at the stats on the link above. This is really something to think long and hard about. Why wouldn't someone want to decrease their risk of c-section? Why wouldn't someone want to increase their chances of being satisfied with such a unique and once in a life-time experience? And why wouldn't someone want to decrease the chances of their baby having to be admitted into a special care nursery?

What if someone simply doesn't have the money?

Some people don't have the money to pay straight up for all the expenses surrounding the birth. Most likely insurance is covering your midwife or doctor's fees as well as the hospital's. What most people are probably unaware of, is that many insurance companies will reimburse for some doula fees as well. It depends on your insurance, your plan, and your ability to work with your insurance company on it. Here is an article that tells more about this.

If there is any way for you to save up the money, borrow the money, or just squeeze it into your budget somehow, it could save you even more money than you ended up paying for it, AND your birth experience may really be a ton more satisfying because you did. 

Also, Most doulas won't turn you away just because you don't have the money right now. Many are willing to work something out that is fair and doable.

What's My Point?

It is worth all the money I ever paid for having doulas at my births. I really was so glad they were there! I hope for all women to be able to take advantage of the services of a doula. She is there for YOU! She advocates for better births and doula's goals are to assist all women, no matter their financial circumstances, to achieve the birthing experience that they desire. If you can pay her more than she is charging, I say go for it! They are usually worth more than they charge, imo :) .

About Kneeling for Prayer: A Change of Perspective

Whether it's at night or in the morning, do you ever find yourself thinking, "Do I have the energy to get out of bed and pray right now?" Sometimes in the morning I actually have to say a prayer asking Heavenly Father to help me get out of bed... Other times, I am ready to show God just how much I love him with my body language. At night, however, it all just depends on how rough my day was, how hard I pushed myself, etc... I usually end up asking myself, "If the kids were to need me to help them to the bathroom right now, would I get out of bed?" If so, I should have no problem kneeling.
I really like it when I am praying in my ideal way (kneeling, body - trunk - upright). I love speaking with God on my knees, intentionally showing my willingness to submit to his will.
Most of the time if I am sick I do not kneel at all, though, but pray in bed. 
I know that a person can pray any place at any time, but I'd like to share an experience, that really changed my perspective on it all.
My Grandpa was sick in the hospital. He had recently had a heart attack and was waiting on doctors to do surgery to fix the problems that caused it.
I went to visit him the day before his surgery and had a very tender and good visit. He seemed in good spirits... When I left, I got a few doors down, when I felt like I should go back and pray with him.
I went back into his room and told him I felt like we should pray before I go. He said he thought that was a good idea. Then he proceeded to sit up in his hospital bed and untangle the tubes he was hooked to. I started asking him what he was doing, and he explained he was trying to get everything untangled... I almost told him to just stay there, but then his utmost respect and love for God touched my soul. He would kneel on the hard hospital floor hooked up to IV's and such in his condition? Because that is what praying was for him that day. Showing God that he loves him so much he would do that... 
He prayed for me. I prayed for him.
And now in my personal and family morning and evening prayers, when I think about whether to kneel or not, I think of my grandpa. And usually end up kneeling.

My Thoughts on Sweets...

Most of my family, friends, neighbors and community know me to be a veggie eating sugar resenter. However, I have also been known to eat sugar on occasions and my kids still take sugar when it is offered (against my wishes).
Because I'd rather not be a mystery to the people wondering about me and my ways with sugar, I'd like to attempt to explain the way I feel about the cultural acceptance and promotion of processed sugar. Simply my perspective...



"What's the big deal, anyway?"

For those who don't pay that close of attention, I'd like to point out that sweets are everywhere!  What is the first thing you see when you walk into a grocery store? Pop displays, candy for the nearest holiday, any popular candy, doughnuts, candy bars, and so on. And so the fight begins. A fight because, as most people are familiar with, sugar is highly addictive and its not good for a person in larger amounts, especially on a daily basis. If the store were the only place I had to fight it, that would be great! But it isn't. The schools are full of it. They use it as rewards for accomplishments or just because there is a holiday coming up, a meeting, or sometimes classmates bring it when it's their turn to celebrate their birthday. And FYI, the only months there are not holidays coming up are May (unless you count memorial day, and in terms of school - last week of school is cause for celebration), June-ish ("ish" because Independence Day is just around the corner anyway). August and September. So, one third of the year our lives get a rest from the constant battle with sugar. Or do they? I don't know about you, but we usually have family reunions during summer months and there are fair time, and birthdays scattered throughout the year (which can get really sugary if you have 9 children in your family).
The battle doesn't stop there, my kids get "served" or culturally offered, as I like to call it, sugar many times when they visit an older neighbor, bank, booth, or other places around town. They go to church and are frequently bribed/rewarded with it to be reverent throughout church and then get a treat again at their various activities throughout the week, whether church activities, sports, or other social outing.
Depending on how many birthdays or other special occasions your family attends parties for, the sugar count could sky rocket when these are added into the mix. As you can see, there is enough sugar elsewhere (and way too much at that) that I just don't feel justified, health wise, offering it at home to the family. Which is very sad, because I think that IF a sweet is going to be enjoyed anywhere, it should be in the family.
At this point, I will tell you that several of my children react in negative ways to sugar, as do I. Here are some of the behaviors I see increasing after sugar consumption (i.e. 1 pack of not real fruit snacks, 1 piece of candy, cake, ice cream, etc...) in my family: spaciness, mental fog and decreased clarity, victim mode, poor self image, forgetfulness, tantrums, grouchiness. a decrease in overall health, to name several.
Usually these "side effects" appear within 24 hours. which makes for an extremely stressful 24 hours, especially if I had any sweets. Times 24 hours by the number of times a family member has had sugar in the week and you can see why I would WANT to ELIMINATE this stress causing consumable ingredient.
There are studies all over that have proven the addictive-ness of sugar as well as the ill health of those addicted to it, or over-indulging on it. You don't have to search any farther than your own refrigerator or cupboard likely, to find something on the subject, but doing an internet search or asking a doctor will certainly provide you with evidence enough that there really isn't room for unnatural sugars in a person's daily diet if they are eating the amounts of healthy food they should be.
Should I feel so alone in this? 

Okay, so, who, reading this, knows very many children who will refuse sugar when left to themselves? I know this depends on how well they have been trained, as well as personality, but really it should not be counted on for kids/youth to refuse something their tongue is so delighted in without heavy coaching and training.
And this is where I feel quite alone. Shouldn't the ones that offer my children candy - neighbors, family, friends, church members, teachers, and other community leaders (all well-meaning, of course)- also be training and teaching all children they come in contact with to refuse things that are not healthy for them? By offering them candy, are they not saying, "Here, have something sweet, that really won't do your body any good, but rather stress it out over time?"
I strongly feel that words of encouragement or compliments are much better than offering someone something that really isn't nutritious.
Some people can handle sugar better than others, but nobody should assume that it's a harmless treat.
On the flip side...

This being said, I also believe that sugar is what we make it... to some degree. A homemade treat that is enjoyed by a family in modest amounts, together after eating a healthy meal - to celebrate a birthday or a holiday or family get together is something I think is a beautiful tradition. Especially if blessed with faith and love to be edifying to God's purposes.
I am much more apt to eat a piece of my mother's pecan pie at Christmas time than I am to eat a piece of bubble gum that got thrown in my direction at the parade, because the first option brings with it memories of family, good times, love, games and friendship. Although, I likely still won't enjoy the best of health, physically over the few days after eating even the pecan pie, because my body wants earth foods. Straight from the earth, when possible. It still may be worth eating the pie because of the memory associated with it, but here's where I need to gauge and check myself to make sure I am not taxing my body when I haven't put in enough deposits to afford that tax.
It is because of this feeling - the bringing to mind happy memories - that I think people offer it elsewhere, in the first place. But the situation is not the same, and it makes it so that people feel less free to enjoy it as a family, because their family has already had it at the birthday celebration for their classmate, the activity they just participated in wherein candy crafts were made, or the sports event they just participated in, etc...
The dilemma comes when I think of how the person offering is just trying to be nice the way they were taught to...
To accept candy from someone because it was offered in love should be fine, right?

Well, we have tried this as a family, and individually. The results were still negative from sugar/refined flour, but less of the feelings of low self worth because of the love that was offered with the sugar. But, I in particular, still usually end up feeling bad for eating something that made me less hungry for the healthy stuff, or just didn't make me feel good in general.
Why not eat the sugar?
Because... our bodies need foods that grow on trees and vines.

Our bodies need food from the earth that has not been taken apart and changed from it's natural state into something that is so unnatural. If our bodies are really dust, and unto dust we shall return, then it makes sense to me that I should eat food that grows from the stuff I'm made of. And teach and train my children to do the same.
What can I do?

In order for things to change, I must change. I must become more vocal about my desires in loving, respectful and educational ways that encourage people to make more health conscious choices in cultural food offerings. What can you do? That's up to you.
I am thankful for my community's offering of love and efforts to train good behavior into my children and bond with them. It is my hope that the efforts will eventually simplify and be kept in the form of words, healthy food, stories, stickers, or just actions, or positive interactions. Kind words or deeds are remembered and appreciated perhaps even better when no processed foods are involved. Less is more when it comes to processed sugar, IMHO.

#studyaboutsugar
#whatiswholesome?
#leavesugaruptothefamily
#scripturaldiet
#Godsfoods
#lovedoesnthavetobesugar